A lesson in letting go and letting God...
Most of us are familiar with the saying, "getting our
ducks in a row" to mean trying to straighten out things going on in our
life, or at work or with people we're in charge of. But I had to laugh when flipping through a
catalog one day I spied a t-shirt that said, "I don't have ducks, I don't
have a row, I have squirrels and they are drunk." Now I don't of course advocate too much
drinking, but today worry and anxiety were causing me to feel like I had more
inebriated long tail rodents in my life than flapping birds listening to my
directions.
I am having to have a total hip replacement, just fifteen
months following a total knee replacement and I was worrying about that surgery
and everything it entails for my job, my home life and normalcy. Two weeks before my scheduled surgery, I had
to take my eight-eight year old mom to the emergency room at one-thirty in the
morning for chest pains which turned out to be a severe gallbladder attack and
resulted in a week's stay in the hospital and finally gallbladder surgery. So while she was in the hospital for an
entire week, I was fretting about canceling my surgery to be able to take care
of her. Now I have three very wonderful
younger siblings who always step up to bat when it comes to helping take care
of our mom so I was worrying needlessly but that didn't stop me from chasing
after a squirrel.
We got her home with a week to spare before my intended
surgery so just when I thought the coast was clean, she was back in the
hospital again because of back pain and swelling in her feet. My worries persisted on whether I should
cancel my own surgery, but family members and co-workers insisted on going
ahead because they could see how much pain I was in from my hip and I don't
disguise such things very well!
So today I was visiting my mom in her hospital room when I
got a text from my husband telling me the electricity had gone out at our home
leaving our crock pot to slowly stop cooking the dinner in it. So my ingenious husband who luckily was home
at the time this happened takes the chicken out of the crock pot and begins to
grill it outside. He is so resourceful! He stopped the squirrel from getting too
close to me.
I left the hospital to go to work at our parish. I got there
and the air conditioning was out in our office building on a 90 plus degree
day. Well this will be fun sitting at my
computer trying to get the next three weeks of bulletins finished before I
leave for surgery plus type up information on our parish picnic which happens
in a month and I am chairperson of.
Sweating I head to a Confirmation meeting and oh drat those letters need
to be printed and mailed out to all of our candidates and their parents and the
meeting packets put together before my surgery date because the Confirmation
committee set the meeting date only three weeks away.
My squirrels were in full blown tizzies and I trudged over
to church to drop off some paperwork for a cantor who is covering me for a
funeral while I am out of the office. I
walked into the quiet, cool, dark church and thought I'd stay and visit a while
with our Lord. Thank you Holy Spirit for
that thought because just sitting there gazing at Jesus in the tabernacle did
me a world of good. "I got this,
Lisa!" I heard in my heart. And I
received the peace that yes He really did have all this. It would all work out
despite my worries and fears, my pain and hurting.
So even though my mom remains in the hospital and my surgery
date is just days away, I found out that the floor I will be on for my hip
surgery is just down the hall from her room. So even if she is still in the
hospital when I go in, I can crutch it down to see her!
My co-workers are amazing and always offer to pick up my
slack at work and of course my own family always comes through helping me at
home and supporting me in my rehab just like they did after my knee surgery and
will help take care of my mom.
God is good. He looks
after me and my inebriated squirrels in life and tells me it will all be okay.
And it will be!
