While rummaging around on an old flash drive...I have a bad habit of writing things and leaving them on old flash drives. But it's kind of interesting to find them several years later and read them. So here is a blog entry before I knew there were such things...This could have been the very first Obi-Mom Blog or Young Fun and Catholic post. But I don't think I had thought about being Obi-Mom or even Banshee Mom at the time.

Anyway, here it goes...

2006

I look at the picture above and I wonder how come all moms don’t share more of these moments with their daughters? I am so thankful to God that my two daughters have fun with me and I with them. How did this happen? Laura is almost 18 and Caitlin is 14, I’m 47. Hmm....it began a long, long time ago...no, not in a world far, far, away, right here in the good old USA...

“Where are we going, Mom?” To the park, to the craft store, to the grocery, to Grandma’s, to church. The whereabouts really didn’t matter. I just took my daughters (and my son) everywhere. We enjoyed each other’s company. I took them places I could play too, or at least hang out nearby. I liked the swings at the park too, I didn’t want to just sit on the side and talk with the other moms. I liked to be in on the action. I don’t think I ever really grew up and still haven’t! I enjoyed their music, playing in the park or the backyard lots more than typing in an office, cleaning the house or whatever other chores that Moms are supposed to do. Oh, I did keep my house clean, maybe not spic and span, but it was hygienic, not too germy but it wasn’t Better Homes and Gardens. The other kid part of myself enjoyed singing along with the Disney music tape or whatever music tape we had picked up from the library that week. I enjoy having fun, laughing no matter where we are, as we drive all over town or sit at home folding laundry or while I am sewing something. But the biggest reason we get along is, God gave me cool kids...they are just fun to be with and a blast to talk to. We laugh - a lot.

How do you plant and cultivate a good relationship with your kids? It had been extremely hard, but I was a stay at home mom. No, we didn’t have it made financially by a long shot. I had earned a teaching degree to teach English and Journalism, been brainwashed by all the feminists about being me, finding out what I wanted in life, had a job after college for three years before my husband and I had kids coming along, I still looked at my mom who had stayed at home with my brother and sisters and me and saw how much I enjoyed our relationship and wanted the same with my kids some day. I didn’t want anyone else taking care of my kids. They were mine and I was their mom. It just made sense.

And quite honestly, though we needed the money, I just couldn’t bring other people’s kids into the house to baby-sit. I was too much my own person, wanting to pick up and go for a drive, go to the library, go to the fabric/craft store and any point during the day. Okay, that was my concession to being “me” I guess, it was selfish, but I after spending one or two days taking care of a friend’s child when she was in the hospital with another baby, I knew I just couldn’t do it long term.

Okay, so here we are, in the picture above. Yes, we truly do have that much fun. Just ask Laura and Cait. They have grown up in a house where their dad and I work with lots of kids. We taught martial arts every Saturday at our church since just after Laura was born. I was pregnant with Cait and wearing a “gi” which is that white pajama looking uniform you wear as a martial artist and had the teenagers we worked with laughing with me over it. Neither my husband nor I or the other friend who taught with us, were afraid to laugh at ourselves with the kids and I guess that’s what our own children learned too. I was an aberration among all the women I knew. I had always wanted to be a fireman when I was growing up and that made me different among my friends. As I got into college the urge to be a writer was stronger and so I went after my English and Journalism degree. Halfway through college I met and fell in love with my future husband who was fun to be around. The only down side to our dating life was he worked in a movie theater so most of his evenings were tied up, we were both in school, so most of our days were filled up and the only time we could go out together was to his martial arts class. I know my parents wondered what in the world I was thinking taking martial arts, but then they were already used to the off beat ideas I had about fighting fires or being a reporter/writer so they never questioned it. It was with a little reluctance that I approached the martial arts class. I mean, I had never in my life seen a martial arts movie. Bruce Lee? Chuck Norris? I didn’t have a clue. But hey, it meant being able to spend time with this cute, offbeat, but gentleman of a man, then I was all for it. Now, 23 years later our family business is our martial arts school. It’s a family thing, my husband calls us a “Chinese laundry” where every family member is expected to learn the business. But our son, Ryan and the girls love it. They truly aren’t expected to be there every day, but they want to be there and they are all very good at teaching, working with the kids ages 4 to teens and twenties and answering the phone, taking money, all the things that come with running a small family business. It’s the biggest adventure we’ve been on and are enjoying. The entire family gets along well and we all enjoy each other’s company.

The secret to our relationship? We aren’t afraid to laugh ourselves silly in the mall at some garish outfit in a window, go for drives to look at the river we live near, start a “waving at other cars” campaign while driving to the library. We have long talks after dinner, sitting at the table still full of dishes and food and discussing current events, what’s going on in high school, college, the business, down at church. We are all active in our church, Laura and I cantor, Cait is an altar server, Ryan is a lector and my husband is a Eucharistic Minister. Do you think that has anything to do with our closeness? You bet. If you are in a loving relationship with our Lord, He will keep you close to your family. Our motto has always been, “A family that prays together, stays together” and it couldn’t be more true. It might be hard with all the different schedules we five have, but if at all possible we always eat evening meals together. We say our evening prayers together, go to Christmas novenas, Sunday Mass is always together. It makes me sad to see families of teenagers not attending Mass together on Sundays. Where is everyone? No, they are NOT working, not always. Where is the rule written that says once a child reaches age 14 you stop going to Mass with your parents? Going to Mass together on Sundays is as important to us as breathing, eating, all those survival skills. No, my husband and I don’t “expect” the kids to join us. They just do. They just know it’s important. But then we always brought them to Mass with us as babies, toddlers, school age. Yes, it was hard, no they didn’t always behave. I remember most Masses were spent standing in the back rocking back and forth until one of them fell asleep in my arms. Boy, my arms hurt and did I understand the gospel that day? Maybe not, but I knew God knew I was there, fulfilling my vocation as mom and it was important to bring the kids. How else would they learn to praise God by singing, praying, listening to the Word and waiting for their turn to receive Jesus in the Eucharist? I still remember the relief when Cait finally made her First Communion. It was relief I felt, because all my children were finally receiving that Grace of God in His Son through His Body and Blood. Wow, it was that was a great feeling!

Until they were old enough to participate fully, I brought quiet toys, crayons and small paper, cereal to keep them occupied during Mass. They were happy with that. Oh they had bad days and we’d spend those in the back of Church too, but understanding that toddlers are moving type creatures, need to be occupied with something, albeit a quiet something, is what it takes to bring them to Church. After my son started school, I would take the two girls to School Masses at eight in the morning. They found these interesting because they would not only get to watch for their brother coming through the doors, but also 200 other kids and smile and wave at them. When my sister-in-law started playing the organ for these Masses, I babysat her children too in the very last pew in the corner, at times there were five or six of us back there and they kept each other company and actually pretty quiet for the most part. Unbelievable? Well, it happened and it’s true and I can truly say now I’m glad I did that because her kids love Church now too.

The Ducks on Icy Pond

 

The ice gathers slowly as temperatures drop and the water freezes quickly because the water is so shallow.  It barely covers the grass it surrounds on the vacant lot behind the store. This small triangular shaped plot of land less than a quarter of an acre lies above the Osage Creek in my hometown.

It has been for sale for many years, but because it is stuck between a building  and a creek and a street bridge, it doesn't sell.  Only the smallest quick stop could fit and that would not even having parking or good access from the street.  But the current residents at the pond don't care. All they want is the water and the fresh greens it holds every time it rains. These aren't the loons of Golden Pond by any means, but the ducks of Osage Creek.

The ducks along the creek live and eat, have their ducklings and find food down within the rocky walls that make up the man made creek bed.  Made of rip rap and not vegetation except for a mass of weeds that threaten to overtake the rip rap every spring, the wall is steep enough to prevent people from entering the creek at this point.  Which makes it an excellent place for the ducks to feed nearby. No one is going to disturb them.  And they don't seem to mind the traffic less than twenty feet away from the marshy land they feed on either.  Hundreds of car speed back and forth past oblivious ducks and their young. The ducks are only concerned with one thing; food. 

The only problem with their choice of dining places is it is only open during the rainy season. The rest of the year it lies dry and flat covered with green weeds that the landowner mows once a month or so. But when it rains it is a veritable feast of overnight green grass shoots and the ducks are in heaven.  They are there, in small numbers, flipping over upside down to grab the shoots under the water which is only a few inches deep.  

People driving by can get a quick glimpse if traffic isn't too crazy and enjoy the hilarity of duck butts mooning the sky as each duck feeds.  

Occasionally if the water remains for too long, neighboring geese muscle their way into the feeding ground, pushing the ducks over to one side because even ducks are a little afraid of these giant birds.  The geese don't look as cute when overturning to feed, because of their size, their bottoms don't flip over like the duck bottoms do to eat.   But soon they fly away leaving the ducks to begin scrounging again for a meal.

There is a sign in the middle of the lot offering the land for sale.  Often times I am tempted to call the phone number listed and either beg the owner not to sell or offer him or her a price.  I don't want to see the land developed into something the ducks cannot return to.  But common sense convinces me by the time I arrive home, that I don't need the expense of a plot of land I can do nothing but pay taxes on.  Yet the urge to take care of the feeding place of a bunch of ducks is strong and my husband has learned to just listen and smile knowing I am not going through with my threat to spend what little money we have on such a frivolous and every unbusinesslike adventure.  I worry what the new business that just moved into the building next to the lot will do about the ducks. It is a farm and feed store so I am hoping maybe they'll purchase the lot and encourage the ducks to keep coming and maybe even dig the natural depression where the water gathers during a rain, into a regular duck pond.   Maybe instead of me purchasing the land, I could encourage the owners to do so. It may increase the traffic in their store to add a viewing stand out the back door where customers could come and watch the duck butts.  

Maybe I am too much of a Pollyanna to consider such ideas are good. But you never know.   The ducks chose this place and as long as they are happy, maybe I should just be too.  You cannot guarantee such serendipitous things in life.  Sometimes you just have to enjoy those moments that pop up like a rain filled depression in the ground that gives food to passing fowl and animals.  Our society tries too hard to make such things last too long instead of just enjoying the moment.  So for now, during this dry period of January, I will wait for a rainy day and hope for the depression to fill and the ducks to return, pushing away the ice and feed.  They at least don't seem to mind that this place is merely a fowl-weather feeding station.

When God Nudges Us

 

I was cruising the internet looking for blogs on prayer and knitting and crocheting the other day because I love to use crocheting to keep my mind on prayers. Maybe that doesn't make sense to anyone else, but if my hands aren't busy, I fidget and cannot concentrate.

Anyway I ran across a beautiful blog post connecting prayer with the act of knitting and it was the only one I found who didn't automatically link it to a prayer shawl. Those are nice of course, but not what I was looking for. 

The author of this blog was Catholic and so spoke my language about how knitting and crocheting can calm our spirits to open us up to genuine prayer.  Yay, a like minded soul sister!  I tried to find more on her blog but alas there were only a few entries.  I looked at the dates and realized the blog was several years old, another disappointment because I hope to connect with this wonderful writer.   I found her home page and slowly began putting pieces together… she had written several years ago that she began blogging to get her mind off her cancer which was bad.  Oh no… I frantically searched the rest of the blog and realized she had already passed.

It was weird how hard that realization hit me and how tears instantly sprang to my eyes. I didn't know this woman but reading her words and finding out she had already departed from this life just hurt.

I then wondered how come.  How come Lord did I begin looking for some like minded prayer soul and find out she is no longer here?  Was it meant to inspire me to pray for her or the family she had here on earth?  Were they needing the prayer of a stranger?

I have a cousin who used to call these moments "God winks" when God reaches down and takes your hand and the hand of another total stranger and has them meet in the most unlikely circumstances.  It reminds me that we are all connected to each other if by nothing else, than by God Himself. 

I don't believe such things just happen as coincidence. There have been many of these types of situations that have happened to me in my life, someone calls at just the moment I needed to talk, I was urged to call or message someone at just the right moment they needed it.  You meet someone in the store that you pour your heart out too… these cannot just be nature's random meetings.  I believe they have meaning. 

So today I am praying for this woman, and only her first name was on the blog, so I don't even know her last name or her family's name, but that doesn’t' matter. What matters is I was moved to pray for them.  And I will.

I can only  hope that some day someone will come across something I've written and pray for my family too.  We all need each other's prayers and sometimes it takes God 'winking' to get us together.

pixabay image by John Hain