Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Civility Week 22, May 28, 2012 Monster Trucks!

Is it any wonder that there is a lack of civility in society when there may be a lack of civility in the home?

I haven’t broached the subject of my husband in this column because I try to leave him out of anything embarrassing I might say. But today I would like to wax eloquent on my dear hubs’ ability to be seen without being heard and sometimes to walk into a room filled with woman talk and we never even know he was there!

   My husband is one of very few men who have the capability of being a very strong, manly man (he is a 3rd Degree Black Belt, teaches women and children self defense, can take care of anything mechanical or plumbing issue with the house, the car, etc) subscribes to the theory that men are born to be the protectors, defenders and providers of their families and has taught his son and all other young men that have crossed his path the same virtue.

    But, if you think for one moment that he is one of those Man Cave men who shy away from sensitivity towards women or who does not understand when there comes a moment when only chocolate and tissues are the only thing that keeps a woman from jumping off a cliff, then you would NOT be correct in your assumption that all men are alike when it comes to women.

    My husband, pardon the bragging, could teach a Doctorate on the subject  How to not be in the room when your wife and daughters are discussing that monthly time and yet still have chocolate and tissues magically appear.”

    We have one son, the oldest who four years ago decided to move out of the house to make his own way in the world and is doing darn well at it too I might add, who when he left home apologized to his father for leaving him alone in a house full of women. My hubs sometimes has a hard time forgiving him for that!  He was left behind with a very strong willed wife and two marvelous daughters.  He has suffered through not only the women issues of three adult women in the house, but the engagement and wedding preparations of one of the daughters (and don’t you know that was a fun ride!)

   Now it’s down to just him and me and one daughter.

   Ask a man how the odds are stacked up when a house has one man and two women in it and any smart man will say; it’s 10 – 1 against the man.  It doesn’t matter if it’s only 2 girls and 1 man. It will seem like 10 women and 1 lonely man.

    Because my daughters and I try to be equally civil and sensitive around my husband when we are talking about anything concerning the woman anatomy, we have a special phrase we use: “Monster Trucks!”

    Monster Trucks is our civil way of saying to each other, “Stop talking and/or change the subject because what we’re talking about is going to embarrass Dad.”
   Why my daughters picked the term “Monster Trucks” is not really known other than they can’t think of anything else they find distasteful in the “man” world other than monster trucks. You have to realize that my daughters and I are all Black Belts too, have been beaten up, knocked to the ground, suffered black eyes, dislocated shoulders and can haul a rank of lumber, stone blocks, or bags of soil anywhere you want it.  We’ve run Colorado rapids, swam fast rivers, zip lined through tall trees and flown acrobatics in an open cockpit biplane. We are beautiful, gorgeous woman, but we work hard and don’t mind a little sweat!

   About the only thing we don’t understand about men is the fascination with Monster Trucks, hence, the term.
   So in our house, we try to remain civil when it comes to talking about our “woman” issues, whether it be emotional issues, puffiness and swelling or moodiness.  We get that guys don’t like to hear, see or know about such things. So to keep the civility in our house of women verses men, we adhere to the  genteel approach to such discussions by not doing it in the company of our men.

   When my daughter was engaged to her awesome hubs, he got introduced to the term too and at first he thought we were truly going to talk about monster trucks. Not so, my darling daughter informed him. And his future father-in-law just put an arm around his shoulder in a manly sort of way and say, “Hey, have you seen my computer in the basement?” and escorted him from the room.

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